NOTE: Due to Rosh Hashana next week, there will be no new post for Sept. 17.
My darling friend AB has a different name for this guy. She calls him “Finger in the Park.”
BOY 7: Slap-Happy
HEIGHT: 6’2
AGE: 27
LOCATION: Huntington Beach, CA
LOOKS: Big, broad, boyish-looking
PROFESSION: Unemployed
Things with AD didn’t turn out the way I planned. I tried to talk to him about these unusual things I was feeling for him, but I ended up tongue tied and drunk at a party he was hosting and he ended up very upset. So it was time to move on, and that’s when I found Slap-Happy. He looked like a guy I used to work with. We started talking, and the conversation was good enough. It seemed like we were on the same page – neither of us wanted anything serious. He had no ambition, so I certainly didn’t want him for anything more than to fool around. But Slap-Happy wasn’t so certain of my motives.
“How do I know that you’re not going to turn around and ask me for a relationship?” he said. “All these girls, they say they don’t want it, and then they turn around and say they do.” The guy was arrogant to the core. He wasn’t that special. He couldn’t have been seeing that many girls.
We arranged to meet at one point, but he continued to pester me. “How do I know you’re not going to ask me for a relationship? How do I KNOW?”
I got aggravated, and at one point, I lost my cool. “Okay, you really want to know?” I snapped. “You really want to know? I don’t want a relationship with you because I’m in love with someone else.”
It shut him up pretty quickly, but I was shocked by my audacity. Up until this point, I would barely admit my feelings for AD were drifting in the direction of more than friends. Now it was out there. But what could I do, really? He was very clearly not ready for a relationship, and I still needed practice in dating.
I went ahead and met Slap-Happy. We decided to go to a local park and walk around. Suddenly, he wrapped his hands around my waist and lifted me up in the air. I screamed.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“No, I’m fine, it’s just that I haven’t been picked up in the air like that since high school.” It was true – I was always too heavy, and recently had lost a lot of weight. And just for reassurances, he picked me up again, and this time I laughed.
It was soon enough that this flirty behavior would turn into fooling around behavior. We moved to his car in the parking lot of the park, where we proceeded to get to fooling around. At one point, he fingered me until I squirted everywhere, and he began to yell at me about his leather seats. I responded by mentioning my skirt. This was followed by me unzipping him to find that he was tiny – in that I could fit him into my mouth fully. For someone as loquacious as me, I have a very small mouth and a tremendous gag reflex. I didn’t gag once.
After a while, we were just talking, and I mentioned that I had never been spanked during sex or had my hair pulled. Then he turned me over and spanked me – hard. No fooling around or anything. Just a ridiculously painful spank. I tried to pull away, but it got harder. Then the hair pulling – I was wondering if he was trying to get the hairs out of my head. Later, I would find out after some experimenting that there should be some pleasure to make the pain a little more desirable.
After a while, I thought to myself, Let’s just this over with. I got on his lap and began to kiss him and grind a little against him. That’s when a bright light shone in my eyes and a loud voice interrupted us.
“The park is closed! Get moving!” it said. And the car disappeared. Buzzkill.
We never did have sex. I left that night and we never met up again, although we talked and I found out how more of his tastes ran towards BDSM than I was willing to experiment with him. I didn’t like him much, so maybe it was best. I should thank that car. But at the same time, I was now even more confused, as Slap-Happy showed that AD was now more to me that I cared to admit before.
